StarStruck

Name: Kristine
Birthday: 3/23/87... I expect a present from each and everyone of you! I want a Mustang convertable (though a regualar Mustang would work too)... but money would do nicely....
Zodiac: Aries
Stuff to keep me occupied: soccer, guitar, acting, singing, dancing, poetry...
Quote: "Standing up has been my downfall..."

Sunday, October 20, 200201:28 p.m.
HEy... long time no write. aye? yea... kristine wne to megan's house last night... and i also had my last game for JYSC. we won... but it iss sad, not just because it's the end of the season, but because it is the beginning of the school season... and coach pretty much said that if i can run the mile and 1/2 in 12 minutes, that i have made varsity. no pressure or anything... gah. 1st string keeper and everything. me.... 1st string. and all i have to do is run something that i can't run. i guessi iwll have to do it. oh well... i really hsave nothing meaning ful to write... i wrote a new peom... yea... thats it. sign my guesbook.... it's at the bottom...
Wednesday, October 9, 200204:45 p.m.
bitch bitch bitch... alll i ever do is bitch. and hold on to your seat cuz her comes some more. me+soccer= lots of tears. why do i do this to myself....? cuz i'm not ready to let it go... last year, it wasn't an option.... i didn't even think about quitting. this year, i think about it every second... but i don't think i can.... but... i can't even say how i feel. i'm just not good enough. it's dso easy to push yourself when you have insentive, when you feel needed, when, emotionally, you haven't aready hit rock bottom. the worst thing you can say about yourself i that you aren't good enough. it's the worst feeling. that and not being good enough+ knowing there's nothingyou can do about it. i just feel so emotional... and i can't show it. i cry everyday at soccer. i feel like such a fucking loser. and the sad thing is... no one can fix that... a hug can't fix it. a friend can't fix it. because they don't know. and i don't want them to... i mean, it's obvious you are gonna readthis guys... but you just can't know. no one does. but i can't give up... cuz then i'll be even more pitiful. this is so sorry. ima go sleep it off. if you read this... don't say anything about it please. i just have to get it off my back. thnax.
kris
Monday, September 23, 200208:16 p.m.
yea... how about... my mo just went psycho bitch because my brother decided to act like a jack ass. and i passed through the room so she unleashed herself on me... dood. over nothing... cuz i burped and was messy with the soap on the INSIDE of the washmachine... ok... its gonna get washed off anyways... it doesn't matter... she started calling me names and screaming and shit. then she slapped me cuz i said i didn't do anything ofr her to getmad at... so i hit her back... i kinda feel bad... nah... i don't. but it was a huge fight... then she yelled at me for throwing a hissie fit... ahem?? who had the hissy fit? HA! yea... then she came sobbing "i'm sorry, that's not the kind of mom i want to be... thats the kind of mom i had... bla fucking bla..." then i feel bad... so now i feel like shit for hitting my mom and for making her feel like shit... amnd i just had a shitty day. oh yea... chris crosby is STILL calling me a dyke from the 5th grade. ok?? what a jack ass... drop it dood... i am not a dyke. fuck him... fuck it all! ~kris~
Monday, September 23, 200204:58 p.m.
kristine is such a fucking fat ass. i can't run the fucking mile and a half in under 12 minutes. i honestly do not understand. i have no will power what so ever. and i can't pace myself. i am not a runner. this is fucking shit!!!!!! my abs feel good... like really good. but i am so mad at myself. ya know... josh is hot. oh... k... josh k. haha... i seriously forget that i know like 4 josh's and they are all jerks... except barta.luff ya man. mmmm... talking to dustin. talk lata gata. ~KRIS~
Saturday, September 21, 200207:12 p.m.
phuck you pita... phuck you~!... why won't you be fixed?
Saturday, September 21, 200207:01 p.m.
grrrrrrr... why is no one talking to me. everyone and their mother is online... but no one will talk. and what is upwith dustin not emailing me back? god... i'm such a spaaz. but can't help but wonder if he doesn't like me anymore... i know, i know... "shut up, kristine.... just go back to bed." thinking is bad for me. thats why you can't leave me home like this. all alone. bah!~KRIS~
Saturday, September 21, 200210:23 a.m.
heyy... ok... i know that journal eticite (sp) is to tell what really happens... but iright now, ima tell what i wish i was doing. i wish i was in a nice poofy feather bed, with light streaming in the windows... with a guy. whose arm is around me as i watch him sleep. we don't have to have had sex the night before... just sleep. and in his arms... i feel safe. *sigh*... dream on... right?
ok... i'm really sitting on my fat ass yellingat my brotherto getout of the shower... and feeling depressed cuz all my friends are gone and i don't get to go anywhere. so i sit... my fat dirty self... and think about stuff i will never have. haha... omg... do you know how depressed i sound! i promice, i am not that depressed... haha... i feell like eyore. mmm... kristine is going to sleep.~KRIS~
Sunday, September 15, 200208:29 p.m.
how did i get here? i was trying to go to roni's pita... oh well, kristine is rather out of it... i drove all the way to georgia today! yay! nothing died either... it was for a game/ and we won 9-0.... not by any help from me... but yea... i got to play on the field todya... it was fun... but i got so winded... oh yea. i have to run my 1 1/2 miles tomorrow. wish me luck... now if my dearest ronica brings me my toonz... everything will be gravy. yea... ~krisi~
Saturday, September 14, 200202:40 p.m.
yea... kristine is bored

"close every door" Joseph and the...
close every door to me
hide all the world from me
bar all the windows
and shut out the light
do what you want with me
hate me and murder me
darken my daytime
and torture my night
if my life were important
i would ask would i live or die
but i know the answers lie far from this world

close every door to me
keep those i love from me
children of Israel are never alone
for i know i should find my own piece of mind
for i have been promiced a land of my own

close every door to me
hide all the world from me
bar all the windows and shut out the light

just gve me a number instead of my name
forget all about me
and let me decay
i do not matter
im only one person
destroy me completely
then throw my away
if my life were important
i would ask will i live or day
but i know the answers lie far from this world

close every door to me
keep those i love from me
children of Isreal are never alone
for we know we shall find
our own piece of mind
for we have been promiced a land of our own.

yea... i like that song... no... i don't feel like that... i was in a nastalgic mood and listening to my musical CD's. ~Kris~ PS... it takes a man who knows no fear to wrestle with a goat... tee hee
Saturday, September 14, 200211:24 a.m.
josh and manny got in a car accident. i dunno how serious it is yet... but the car is totaled. god.
Friday, September 13, 200210:20 p.m.
shitty day. don't know why. read myy poem. maybe you'll get it. i doubt it. i don't get it. just shitty.
Thursday, September 12, 200205:53 p.m.
yea.... kristine did not have the best of days... i had to walk to the bus stop... than marissa picked me up... but i don't think she wanted to... i think she felt like she had to. then, my water bottle spilled all over everything in my back pack... then it was dustin's birthday, and out of temporary lack of judgement, i gave him a picture of myself and wrote him a letter... urg. he hasn't talked to me since. iwonder if i creaped him out... ok, then i forgot my rticle in photo, then we had a test in alggebra2, then josh asked kayla out... which, i do't mind if she goes out with him... its just that he had the ballz to ask her... ater he went out with me twice. then i had soccer conditioning. yea... today sucked. you know what?? i ran 11 laps today... almost 3 miles. holy shit. yea... but kristine has to go study for sacerdote's class... yea... i have'nt read yet... i should do that. gah... dustin should like me. yea... rock on

kris
Friday, September 6, 200206:48 p.m.

AARG! why is everything always phucked up in kristine's world?? god... first it comes with john telling me that he loved me and that i was his angel (for those who don't jknow, john is a really big guy in my drama class, who... uh... isn't so smart... i don't think he is retarded... just slow. and... i dunno... i can't think of howto put it.... but it's bad!)... ok... then paul wrote a cute poem in spanish. he gave me the translation... and... it ws a love poeem. then i talk to roni. and guy who it's about... yea. shitty shit shit shit. i mean... paul's not a bad guy... but he's... paul. paul who is JUST a friend. nothing more. i don't have even small feelings like that for him. and i can't tell him... cuz he can't knowthat i know... but i don't want to be a bitch to him so he will take a hint. i dunno. but it just makes me uncomfortable to be with him. yea... it sucks.

ok... i've made a new friend. well, she was my firend last year, kinda. but now she's a good friend. her name is elizabeth. she's really cool. she's in my photo class, and might transsfe into my drama class. that'd be cool. i'm her kitty and she's me grapefruit. yea... don't ask...

sooo... yea. i met RD and Jesse and someother guy. (i don't know who he was and he didn't talk to me... so... yea) i guess... they're ok. i don't have any problems. jesse's kinda cute... taken... but cute. and he plays the guitar. yea. roni says that i should get RD to call me and play the piano for me. but he's not on to tell him to call. so... yea.

so, sunshine (jason) gavve me a hug today... a really good hug at that... and i was like "what was that for?" and he says, ""just because..." so i asked him where his g/f was and he said with her guy friends. ugh... so i go, "so... you are using me... to mke her jealous??"... and he didn't answer... GAH! what a shit. i'm not really mad... cuz i give him hugs all the time... but.... GAH! i'm being used.

i think someone told dustin that i felt like he didn't like me anymore... cuz he's talking to me again. it's nice. i mean, i'm not objecting... but... i dunno. just kinda.... like a charaty case? gah. too bad i like him a lot right? oh well,.. yea... i'm done. sorry, i haven't written in a while... just nothing good is happeneing.

oh yea... soccer is startingon monday... phuck it all!!!
kristine
Monday, August 26, 200205:03 p.m.
If you are ina good mood... don't read this. it will only succed in making you depressed.
you asked for it... god... i am so sick of no one knowing my name. dustin calledme kristin today... MY NAME IS KRISTINE!!! KRISTINE KRISTINE KRISTINE!~! i find it great htat i can go to school everyday... i am not anti-social... and people that i talk to all the time, don't know my name. i dunno. naybe i'm just not very significan't. eh. i just blend into the scenery... but in amelie... when she melts.... yea... that was me when dustin said "hey kristin!"... normally it doesn't bother me... it's PMS i tell you. gah. ima go.
kristine.... (not kristin, kirsten, kristina, krista, or anything slightly realing to that... kristine.... just krsitne... it's not that harddd!!!)
Saturday, August 24, 200206:14 p.m.
COOLEY IS AN ASS!!!! damn, i hate him. He told on me for marking the field. HE TOLD ON ME! such an ass. but i have to go eat chinese food... mmmmm... people really piss me off... today is not the day to phuck with kristine.
kristine
Friday, August 16, 200209:36 p.m.
ugh... i can't make it black. i don't know what i did. bla... screw you pita...
Friday, August 16, 200204:48 a.m.
hey there
just went to the movies with my crew... again. ilove them... they are great. I also talked to dustin before i left. you kno what??? i have the greatest friends in the entire world... *sigh*... we raved inthe movie theatre. heh. we meta very nice man in a wheel chair in baskin robins. i am sooooo happy with my firends.... i love them all... and now i am gonna tell you why.

Roni: she is my lover... lol. you can always count on her for a hug or and excamo kiss(thats what i call it) when you feel like shit.
Kayla: she's always been there... and she always will be. good for a laugh and she always understands. and always has a good comback... "yea, well, my mom's crazy!"
Allison: mmmm... not so touchy... but thats good. knows when to stop being crazy, and is always there when you feel like being mature.
Megan: never makes you feel stoopid.. heh. j/k. she's crazy cool.. but makes good conversation.
then there's dustin: actually, he's really only been close since this year. but i knew him last year. a great guy... totally opposite from me, but still great. he has a deep side and isn't distracted by the fact that i'm female. at least thathe shows... but if he breeaks up with his girlfriend... ... ... ... ok.

thus ends my list of friends. there are more... but that is my "crew". i gotta go.
kris
Monday, August 12, 200211:51 p.m.
I wantto dance... i want to roll up in a ball and sleep too... but mostly i want to dance... ha. e have wood floors and i did i full out tripple today... dood... i have never taken dance lessons. i love it! now... if i could only get my voice back. i could be a triple threat baby! haha.
i love creed... actually... i've only heard their new CD... but i love it. mmm
oh. there was a soccr meeting today. it starts sept 9th... can you believe it??? i can't. god. i thought it just ended.
dood... i want to know what the fuck is wrong with me. my back kills!! damn. gah!! well... whatever it is... i am soooo scarred to go to the doctor because he'll tell me to stop playing soccer. even though i cant stand it. it's kind of me. i mean... i dunno. i think it builds character... and it's forced me to grow up. plus it keeps me... not so fat. ha.
well... you can see i'm sucking it up... and i think i'm doing a pretty good job of it too... dustin is a great guy... and i lik jennifer. so it doesn't bother me that much. plus, he's totally cool with me. i think we'll be great friends. at least, i hope so. besides... i think friendships mean more in high school than anything else. but... i have tio get ready for soccer... rock on...
kris
Monday, August 12, 200203:20 a.m.
can i stop smiling now? god... i like dustin. if i can't date him, i want to be friends with him. he's a sweet guy. but... grrr... i can;t help but be mad at jennifer. i don't know her that well, but she's always been niceto me. everyone calls her a bitch and stuff (not everyone... all of dustin's friends that i've talked to).i can't help but be biased. i don't want to be. but oh well...
god... i was so spoiled last year. i HATE riding the bus. we have to sit three to a sit. that was ok in elementary school... it was ok in middle school... but try to shove three highschool kids in a fucking seat ansd see what ranky smells come out... damn. but ima go... *sigh* i think i will play my guitar. i am sad. it alwaysmakes me feel better. ciao!
kris
Sunday, August 11, 200202:53 a.m.
how can on small thing change your whole out look on things... I WANT TO BE HAPPY DAMN IT! *smiles*... i know that ultimately, you are in charge of your feelings... but i can't be happy. damn it... this weekend was too short. grrr... whatever... i give up. i'm just gonna be a lonely old lady. i can't be a nun anymore... cuz i'm not catholic... eh... fuck it.
kris
Sunday, August 11, 200212:47 a.m.
yes... uh... i would like to know where have all the coyboys gone... um when you find out, call me at 1-800-YOUREFULLOSHIT... thanx.
now that i have that out of the way... i would like to bring up another point... heh... I AM BORED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND!!!! heh *stands up* yes... my name is kristine... and i struggle with boredom *everyone claps and sayd hi kristine*
this cuban guy atchurchthis morning when he shook my hand said that i was beautiful and that i would do great things... please refer to my phone number as posted above.
now please excuse my while i go try to figure out what is going on in my life... and you know that last entry... yea... disregard everything i said aboutt hat "l" word... it is evil in everyway. and i wish dustin and jennifer luck in their new relationship. i wish i had known at the beginning of this weekend... iwould have enjoyed it more. but i'm not mad... i knew it would happen. everything was just too good. ecuse me while i relieve myself...
kris
Saturday, August 10, 200206:03 a.m.
Hey there
bla... i feel like shit... but i am in such a good mood. itfeels good to like, actually like, someone. i'm still terrified of the "L" word... but like is safe... *smiles*.
sooooo... i went to the mall with kayla today. i got lots of jewelry. her momtook us... i was scared to get in a car with her... but aside from a few occasional "oops-es", i was fine... lol. i love kayla. she is so patient with her mom. dood. if karen was my mom... i would not beso... nice. i mean, granted, she's rather cold to her... but... if you had met her, you would know why. mmmm... i love kayla.
last night i went to see Goldmember. t'was funny, but not as good as the first two austin power's movies. in my opinion. we also (we=allsion, roni, and megan), chilled out at wall-mart. heh... i put a thong on my head, and i put a pink pair of underware over my pants... and i put a bra on and roni took a picture. twas great. mmm, after i took that shit off, i put on a floppy hat and took a horse (who later was named bob) and a veggie tales backpack and galloped around the store. the nice guy at the frot of the store gave me some smily face stickers. last night was fun... but i missed kayla.
i have to go... talk to you later.
heart always
kris
Wednesday, August 7, 200206:52 a.m.
(sigh)… yet another first day of school… filled with the smell of musty lockers, gross cafeteria food, and fearful little freshmen. Whom I should have pity upon, concidering, only a year ago, I was one of those little guys. Yet the harbored anger in me from my year of torture comes back, and I can’t resist calling out “stoopid freshmen!” but hey… just another part of the vicious cycle. Heh. Yes…I began today begrudging every aspect of returning to this hell hole… yet I left with a sence of satistfaction. It seems as we’ve only left for a brief hiatus. Nothing has changed. I just have new classes. But I have a new opportunity to make friends and get in fights with my old ones. So, life isn’t so much different.

I have a cat… a soft, lovable, furry ball of purring joy. Her name is Olivia… which I, personally think Is a shitty name… but I just call her “cat” anyways, so it doesn’t make anybit of difference.

Well, I shall leave you now to attend to my insignificant life… but I shall be posting some more on allpo… (I had a few creative moments last night and the night before). So please check those out… and don’t be shy. Sign my guestbook… even if all you wantt to say is “I hate you… this sux… it’s nice to know that people actually read this piece of shit… even if it is a piece of shit…. Rock on…
kris
Friday, August 2, 200203:24 p.m.
Hey there
ok... i said i wouldn't write in here anymore... but i guess i lied... i don't know what to write about at the moment.... but i will think of something... i want to make a pita and just make it pretty... im scared to change this one cuz i don't want to screw it up... talk to you later...
kris
Monday, July 29, 200203:09 p.m.
hmm... i think maybe i will write... but only because i hve nothingbetter to do